This all started very innocently.
I was mid-through a conversation about birthdays, when I suddenly FORGOT MY AGE??? My brain just blanked.
No answer.
Nothing.
And suddenly I was like WAIT how old AM I???
Now, this should have been a two-second mental calculation, but instead, my brain decided to turn it into a full existential event… because once you forget your age everything else stars to unravel… time becomes fake, years become a blur and you start questioning whether youve been alive for 5 mins or 0393813931 years.
I started counting backwards like I was solving a maths problem I never revised for. Birth year… minus current year.. plus.. wait NO that doesnt feel right… why does that number feel too big?? Am I actually older than I think?? Younger??? Have I been lying to myself accidentally???
And thats when the spiral kicked in… forgetting your age isnt just forgetting a number, it opens the door to the weird pressures we attach to age, the shoulds, the timelines, the invisible checklist that suddenly start screaming at you.
Should I be further along????
Should I have my life more together???
Should I feel more grown???
Why does everyone else seem so sure of where they’re going????
All that… from forgetting A NUMBER.
It’s wild how quickly the brain goes from “ahhahaahha thats funny” to “WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE???” In under 30 seconds. One moment your laughing around, the next your mentally reviewing every decision youve ever made…
The thing is, age feels especially weird right now. The last few years blurred together in a way that doesnt make any sense. Time didnt move normally. Theres been alot of shit thats went down the last few years and WOAH SPIRALLING AGAIN ANWAYS.
Social media doesnt help, you see people you’re age moving out, starting careers having more of a life than me rn and suddenly forgetting your age feels like a confirmation that you’re behind some how???
If im being honest the fact that I forgot my age probably says more about how much ive been living in my head lately… than anything else.
So.. yes! – I forgot my age.
Yes- I spiralled.
Yes- it was dramatic
Long story short figured out im 21 not 22 turning 23 this year. Now… if you’ll excuse me I will be writing my age down somewhere permanent just in case…
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